While your mom, sister, or friend might be the one to take care of your new baby after giving birth, a lot of new fathers struggle with what they thought would be the most important thing in their life – taking care of their spouse. In today’s world, “taking care” can mean many things and men may not know where to start.

Your wife may need some help getting the hang of nursing, or be too tired to do so. Be there to ease her anxiety and lend a helping hand at feeding time. She’ll probably need some help when she’s first starting out and you want to make sure it goes as smoothly as possible.

While things are a little chaotic around the house, here are some tips to help your wife feel cared for when she has just given birth:

1. Help around the house

Take out the trash, do laundry, light housework, and keep your home looking presentable for her. Many fathers get so wrapped up in the amount of time it takes to change diapers that they neglect other things around the house. Remember that she needs more than just help from you when your child is born; she needs help from you in taking care of herself too.

2. Listen to her

She has just given birth to your child. Most likely she is feeling that it was by far the hardest thing she has ever done in her life, and she may feel exhausted or overwhelmed by everything that is going on right now. She doesn’t need a lot of advice. Let her tell you what she needs and why.

3. Be sensitive to her feelings and concerns

There are a few things that she may have been especially worried about, such as pain, or labor, post-birth complications, or issues that may arise. This is when it helps if you have talked with your health care provider beforehand so that you can work together as a team to help reduce these potential problems.

4. Don’t focus all your energy on the baby

It’s okay to hold and kiss your child, but you should also be there for your wife. You should take some time to talk with her and give her a hug when you are with her. While she is taking care of you, make sure that you are also taking care of her. The first few months after birth is about bonding with your child, so let her know how much this means to you and why it’s important for you to help out in this way too.

Bottom line

Your wife just gave birth, so it’s important for you to make sure you are caring for yourself as well. She needs you now more than ever, so really make an effort to put her first.You may be more anxious around your child than you were before your child was born and there are good reasons why that happens. However, even if it’s hard to feel this way, remember that she is still the same woman who loved you enough to marry you and have a child with you. Show her that she can continue to trust in your love after marriage instead of feeling neglected or like a second priority because she just gave birth.