You’ve been chosen as the matron of honor, and are thrilled. Excited to do things, but what exactly are the things that you’re expected to do?
Don’t worry, we’ve got you covered.
We’ve got 7 matron of honor duties, and some additional tips on how to go the extra mile.
The first thing you’ll want to do is familiarize yourself with the rest of the bridal party, your new team. If the bride has also chosen a maid of honor, you’ve got each other; the two of you are equally responsible when it comes to planning and coordinating all the fun things in store.
It’s a good idea to meet with the bride and maid of honor. The bride can clue you in on the wedding planning and related details. Remember to take notes, get an idea of the timeline, and get the names and contact numbers for the rest of the bridesmaids.
Tip: Ask the bridesmaids if they have a special passion or skill that could come in handy for all things wedding related.
2. Party Planning
Both you and the maid of honor (if there is one) are in charge of the bridal shower and bachelorette party. Before you start brainstorming, you need to know the budget. Traditionally, the bridal party all chips in to make it a night to remember.
It can be somewhat uncomfortable to discuss budget, so consider emailing each of the bridesmaids separately, or creating an online poll to get an idea of what everyone can afford.
Remember, the important part is that you are all together, celebrating. You can have just as much fun on a night out in your hometown as you can in Vegas.
The bachelorette party is usually the wilder of the two – think high heels, skirts, red lips, and silly suggestive party pieces. The bridal shower milder – think tea sets (grab some at your local thrift store) finger sandwiches, floral patterned maxi dresses, and delicate champagne cocktails in a sunny outdoor space.
Tip: Feel free to delegate – assign various tasks related to party planning to the other bridesmaids.
3. Dress Shopping
It’s customary that the matron of honor accompanies the bride on her quest for the perfect dress.
Ask her what her dream dress looks like before you enter the boutique; and have her use words to describe it: romantic, ethereal, modern. Keep these in mind when perusing the racks and as she tries on each one.
Tip: Be honest – and kind – as she models each dress.
4. Bridesmaids Dress Shopping
In addition to the bride’s dress, there are some other dresses to choose as well! One of the benefits of being a matron of honor is, you get a say in the dress you wear. You get to help the bride select the style, material, and color of the dress.
If some of the bridesmaids are local, why not have them help? You can try on dresses at boutiques, or shop online.
Tip: Do this a few months before the wedding, that way all tailoring and final adjustments can be made in time for the wedding.
5. Provide Assistance
If the bride is having a DIY wedding, the matron of honor is there to help. From gluing narrow strips of burlap around mason jars, and placing a tea light inside each, to hanging garlands of wild flowers to dry. Trying to recreate the calligraphy skills you were so proud of when you were 12 years old, as you help create custom place cards. Regardless of the task, the matron of honor is there to help.
Tip: Have fun! Create a playlist compiled of your favorite tunes. Order pizza, or go out for sushi afterwards.
6. Provide Support
It’s no secret, sometimes wedding planning is stressful. Things fall through, timelines cut too close for comfort, and rain appears in the weather forecast.
No matter what, as the matron of honor, the bride needs you. You provide the shoulder to lean on, the voice of reason, the gentle reminder that everything is going to work out. It’s your responsibility to remind her of the bigger picture.
Tip: Allow her to vent. If there’s a solution, you could share it, but ultimately, she may just need someone to listen.
7. Bring the Dream to Life
As the bride’s right-hand woman, the matron of honor is responsible to help during the rehearsal dinner, and of course on the big day. In order to shine while carrying out this role, it is imperative that you know what the bride’s vision is, and all the little details that need to come together in order to make it a reality.
Tip: Make sure you ask the bride what she’d like you and the other bridesmaids to be responsible for. You can help delegate, and have enough of an idea of what needs to happen so that you don’t have to worry about disturbing her while she’s slipping into her dress, or getting hair and makeup done.
The bride picked you for a reason, and we know you’ll make her proud. This is one of the most special moments in her life, and she’s lucky to have you there supporting her, each step of the way.